Is it psychology or what? My health went crazy last month for losing appetite in foods (or was it the other way around). Yeah, even ice cream, coke float, mona lisa, nilagang baka, afritada, Carpaccio de Boeuf, Fondue Bourguignonne, Tortelloni Di Zucca, (hehe…just kidding), did not get the yes vote to my taste buds. Ma got angry, Pa got worried, Kuya got angry too, and Manoy lied that I weren’t fat just to keep me eating but to no avail. Not that I wanted it, but there must be something then that kept me staying away from the dinner table.
Then came Ash Wednesday, the supposed start of fasting and abstinence (not limited to food) in the Catholic tradition. According to the priest, to fast is not really not to eat (as there are some that believe such notion). It could be to lessen the food we take in a day. He suggested a third of our usual meal and that should be good news given the economic crisis.
But why oh why? Alas, my appetite is back…I keep thinking about food. I keep eating two oatmeal cookies before lunch and two more after lunch (though that is also to keep me awake while trying to write about how expensive the 2001 SP Tiger Woods rookie card is and how its value can even go higher next year or how valuable is the T206 Honus Wagner, it costs more than a million dollars – more expensive than our house!). Then boss has been in the mood for gastronomic treats. Not to mention the birthday invitations.
And it does affirm to the fact that when you are about to say no to something, move away from a vice, change the direction of your life, there is always an anonymous, ungraspable, or maybe just imaginary force that keeps challenging your decision until you doubt again. When you are not firm enough and or not ready enough to face the challenge, you can just give in and get back to zero. When you know the cycle is going on and you are still weak to fight it, you know that you can’t do it by yourself. And so then, you would have to believe and be humble enough to accept that the battle is not yours alone. That’s faith.
PS : to those who reach this site looking for “masarap ang bawal” in English, the answer to that is – you’ll like it more when it’s forbidden. Oh my, I’m sorry to disappoint you, i’m not sure if there is exactly an English equivalent!